Traveling the Interstate at 2am

I drove the second shift. Ideally I would have slept for the previous 6 hours, but my little one woke up after 3 and I was only in sleep mode for 1.

Mom (Nana), baby Elijah and I went to Saint Louis for Thanksgiving to visit the extended family and get some time with my greats (elijah's great-greats). The big family gathering was on Saturday and _our_ big family gathering was happening Sunday. This meant driving back to Minnesota overnight. Ugh.

As I bopped my head to the Chemical Brothers to keep energized on my way up 35W, I got nervous. I was going 8-9 miles over the speed limit, which put me close to 80mph.

Iowa interstate is dark. Yeah, and I found myself braking off cruise control with a silent gasp a number of times in the beginning of my shift. I sat up straight, I turned the music down a bit and I had to pay attention.

"This must be what all the enlightened people call 'awareness' or living in the 'present moment'", I thought. I didn't want to drive off the road. I tried it for awhile, and I was able to relax. Then my mind drifted again to planning for the day's gathering, or what my aunt said about my uncle or when my other aunt confided in me and cried, and other things -- and I found myself gasping at the changing road again.

So what does this have to do with Community Acupuncture? I'm not exactly sure, but I do know that most if not all of my patients seem to be consistently worried or upset by things that happened or things that might happen. Every once in awhile, they are just fine, feeling good, and have less to report. I notice the same in myself.

I'd love to try an experiement: can I concentrate on this moment now and not focus on the past or future for one week? one day? one hour? So that I can train myself to live without the gasping?

Perhaps now is the only place we can be at peace...